I debated writing this post because money isn’t generally a public topic. However, while these thoughts started with my worrying about money, they’ve ended with a valuable lesson from the Lord that I don’t want to forget. One of our goals for this blog is to eventually make a keepsake book as a way of remembering our adventure. So far that has mainly led to posts of what we’ve been doing, but I want to remember what we’ve been learning as well. Because trust us…the Lord can teach you a lot when quit your jobs and leave behind everything you know!
So back to the money thing. Everyone always talks about how travel nurses make a fortune and we’re so lucky, etc. What people don’t realize it that pay rates vary widely in this industry and not having a permanent tax home can mean extremely high taxes in various states (such as Connecticut). In short, these factors are at work against us with this particular contract and we’re not able to save much at all. Coming from our previous two-income budget in which we saved my entire income, this feels like a blow.
I’ve worried off and on for the past month about how little we’re saving toward certain goals (buying a home at the end of this, saving to be a stay at home mom, etc.) and how much of a “setback” this might be for us if all of our contracts are like this. After all, how can we be saving 75% less and still be ok?
Then the Lord whispers, “Define ok, Rebecca.”
And there you have it.
Even a former stewardship campaign director can get schooled on the anxiety-ridden danger of defining security in worldly terms. I’ve been matching up our future goals with our current circumstances and trying to make it work on paper. I’ve been picturing the future as if God wasn’t going to be there with us, providing for us as He has always done. He called us to do this. Won’t He also provide for us? I know the answer is yes, and what I’m learning is this: He’ll provide for us based on what He knows we need – not what we think we need. We are the children and He is the Father, after all.
I think we need to be saving a lot more money. He apparently does not or He would provide it. It doesn’t make sense to me at all right now, and that’s ok. I didn’t realize how much security I was placing in being able to save – how just knowing that we had way more than we needed brought me peace.
Right now we have exactly what we need each month and only a little extra. My mind wants to scream, “but what if something happens? We don’t have a lot of margin here.” But that’s just it. What if something happens? Will God not be in that situation as well? He has always provided for us. Will He fail us in the future? He assures us in Malachi 3:6 that He does not change, meaning we can be confident that He will care for us then as always. He’s showing me that our security is not in our savings, but in the knowledge that we are living in His will by choosing to travel nurse. He has a plan for this to work in the whole picture of our lives, which only He can see. We just have to keep walking forward, trusting that He’s going to meet us at the next step.
Luke: 12:31 “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need. So don’t be afraid little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.”
I didn’t realize I needed to be reminded to value the Kingdom over a amply-funded savings account, but these are the surprises that await us when we purposefully look beyond our routines. We find that some routine thoughts are not God’s thoughts at all. Because really, when has He ever been described as routine?